


Just Forget

by raspberrysplash



Series: Gaster [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Other characters show up later, and just in general, gaster crying count: 4, gaster is very confused by all these small children, i dont know if this counts as character death?? gasters not even actually dead i dont think, i want to rename this fic "gaster eats spaghetti and cries and gets punched in the face", this is kind of angsty but i think i'll do a sequel with frisk hangin out with gaster, well. anyway its like. he died before the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 01:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5229254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raspberrysplash/pseuds/raspberrysplash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GASTER sees seven souls come to him. They all make him feel as though he is forgetting something. He is so very confused.</p><p>aka, whatever's left of gaster, and how he broke apart</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue and RED

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! there's a few things i should note about this before you dive in, or you're gonna be really confused really fast:  
> 1) this fanfiction goes in reverse chronological order!! so, basically, the beginning of the story is at the very end, and the ending is at the very beginning. sort of like memento.  
> 2) hover over the wingdings to see the translation ;)

 

GASTER had long forgotten himself.

He remembered basic things- he knew that he had died, that he had woken up somewhere very warm and thrumming with magic, that it was very dark, and that, somehow, he had the feeling his existence was completely inconsequential. It was like being a ghost, watching everyone you loved move on from your death, but there was never anything to move on from because he'd been forgotten from the start. Perhaps it had once stung, but he felt more at peace now. He was unsure (I DO NOT KNOW), as he was about most things.

Once, maybe, he had things he'd inferred, but as time passed, his mind fragmented, and he no longer had any recollection of his findings (LUCIDITY). Everything fragmented away, really. He had seen odd shadows before, grey, wandering aimlessly, and he somehow _knew_ they were different, that they could see him, but they would suddenly disappear as soon as he approached. Everything fragmented away. He wondered how many ideas he'd forgotten and how many had pulled violently from his mind, running off on their own, leaving him on the ground (GROUND? ) and feeling that he should remember something...

Everything fragmented away. Even those rare bursts of colors that he saw, with those little voices and little faces (SO VERY TINY), faded away...

 

SO VERY VERY DARK. I AM SO VERY VERY ALONE. WHAT IS UP AND WHAT IS DOWN? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

♡

 

* * *

 

He did experience something like sleep- odd, quiet, soothing. His thin concentration would lapse, and he'd stare out at nothing, really, and his eye sockets would droop, nearly shutting, as he lost himself in the solitude, not thinking of much except perhaps how small he felt and how alone he was (SO VERY VERY ALONE). He took an odd solace in it, an echo of some relief he could not remember (REMEMBER?).

Remember, remember, remember...

His ruminations, one day, filled with red. It felt like something he should remember, he should know about, and yet...

Something reached out and touched him.

(!!!) Fear spiked through him, and for a split second, his eyes fully opened. He was only able to register something- echoing in the back of his mind, that this creature had an odd soul, a very odd soul, a RED soul, that it was very dangerous- before he was pulled away, and the next thing he knew he was standing in a bed of golden flowers and feeling so very dizzy, so very sick, wondering what DETERMINATION was, why it seemed so familiar.

 

AND YET, SUCH A GENTLE SHADE...

❤


	2. YELLOW and GREEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> being gaster is suffering....
> 
> okay, two more things!!  
> 1) gun use, hand trauma, and food are in this chapter. strangulation is mentioned. if those upset you, you might have a bad time  
> 2) if anyone would be willing to beta this, i would really appreciate it!! i just kind of read over what i write, say 'fuck it', and post my gaster angst

His mind shattered more and more by the hour (HOUR?)- pieces flying away and leaving him tired, confused, nauseous- but he was also rather content. The kind souls he came across, the lovely, colorful souls that came to him were very comforting. He could recollect, faintly, a time where he thought if he just tried hard enough he could keep himself whole and together, his genius (IS THAT WHAT I WAS?) could survive... but, no, he had accepted it by now. He was going to completely lose his mind, and it would happen slowly. His prison here would tear him apart, and there was no avoiding it. He'd been told, yes, to keep hope, to keep trying, but... well, he'd realized when he'd confessed to his last visitor, how nothing was working, how it was so hard to keep trying after so many failures, that the person he'd been, that he could barely remember now, would have kept trying, but he was so, so tired...

How that soul had smiled to him, piteously and perhaps a bit confused (GASTEr had nearly forgotten his sign language, and he had either lost how to use his voice or was unable to begin with. His only communication was garbled signing) and signed back those words.

'Wouldn't it be kinder to let yourself give up?'

Kinder. Easier. 

'I think... you should just try to enjoy the time you have left.'

'Before you completely disappear.'

No matter how stubborn he was (DETERMINED)... he was not going to make it out of here.

Might as well enjoy what mind he had left.

...

Once again, the door creaked open, and he smiled in what he hoped was a welcoming way. The only things that seemed to come in were those... those hu... (COLORS) Yes. The colors. The colors were always such small things, but he remembered, fuzzily, the one who sat with him and gave him hope, the one that held him close and gave him mercy... so very small, and yet, they were kind. Such nice little visits. Maybe his eventual destruction would not be so terrible.

'HELLO'

The sign for "hello" was easy, and he could remember it easily enough. Just a simple salute (WHAT IS A SALUTE?). The tiny soul (YELLOW, he noticed) cocked its head and glared. A sudden nervousness overtook GASTEr in that moment and he shrank back, not unlike a frightened animal. This was different. Different. So very different. He was afraid. Why was this YELLOW one so angry? 

It took a step forward. He raised his hands to his face, his broken face, and backed away. This was wrong, all wrong. The colors were usually friendly, why was this one not friendly? Something flashed by in his mind- something dancing, dusty hands on his neck- before it r ipp ed awa y and he wailed (a soundless cry), pain flooding through him and dizziness overtaking him. He stumbled back, the YELLOW creature raised its gun, spoke in a voice rusty from disuse-

"Face justice, you beast."

Two loud bangs.

and then

something hurt him very

v e r y

                  b a d l         y.

he shrieked and something, something exploded from him, he collapsed in on himself, the creature screamed, he teleported again, he was flattened against a grimy floor, and he felt wild sobs rack his body

wh y did it hurt him??? w hyy did it why

something cold drip dropped through his hands, his tears, and he looked 

and there were

two. big. holes. in. his. palms.

 

(GASTER) could not move for a while after that. Wild pain electrified him, but he could not stop staring at his hands. Nausea struck him in broad bursts, black goo dribbled from his eyes and mouth, but he could not remove himself from the whirlwind in his head. 

GASTER?

(GASTER)

Gaster?

GASTER.

(GASTER GASTER GASTER GASTER)

When he came back to himself, he was _very, very_ tired and _very, very_ dizzy and there was a _very, very big_ empty space in his head, something was _gone gone gone_ and he was just so _scared_ and

oh

how very small he felt

(that was the day he forgot the colors)

WHERE AM I? I AM WHO? I AM GASTER. I AM GASTER. WHERE AM I?

 ❤

 

* * *

 

Today... did days pass? Yes, yes, they had to. The soul... color... the creature had told him so. Days pass. Twenty-four hours. One thousand, four hundred and forty minutes. Eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds. A second, they had said, was about as long as it took to say "one-mississippi". He did not know what _mississippi_ was, but he said it anyways. Before they had left, they helped him practice counting once again. It had been so long. He was a bit rusty.

Eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds.

It was very, very difficult to keep track.

'Remember'. They had taught him that sign. 'Remember'. He remembered feeling... something. Perhaps it was shame? It had been so hard to follow along with what they taught, he felt like a child. Was it shame he'd felt, then? It was very difficult to remember. 

'Remember', he signed to himself. 'Remember.' He had to keep his memories about him, he had to keep trying... if he failed, whatever remained of his mind, of his genius, would leave him... he had to remember. He had to. _Had to._

Something quietly opened the door. He raised his face, focused his eyes on it. The vague apprehension he'd felt before, back when the most recent soul had visited, was quieter now. It was hard to concentrate on anything but that recent memory when he thought of the hu... hum.... souls. Colors. (COLORS). How pitiful. Another memory he'd nearly lost. Nearly having forgotten that dancer, who'd taken his neck in their hands and wept into him and squeezed, and if he thought even further back, the angry one who'd run in and-

Something put its hand on him. 

He startled, his hands moving in a flurry of surprised signs (all the ones he still remembered), and he heard a quiet, gentle laugh. The 'something', a tiny creature (GREEN. Its soul was GREEN) smiled up at him and put its hand to its head, made a sort of saluting motion. 

'Hello.' it had signed. It put its hand on him again, giving him a light pat. Was that what it did before? 'I've never seen a monster like you. What's your name?'

GAsTEr tried to sign his name. He remembered that one. He remembered how to sign his name, the previous visitor had taught him.

The GREEN one looked confused.

'H-A-T S-E-R?" it signed back. Then, it patted its head ('Hat') and pressed its fingers to its thumb, pushing both hands together ('Sir').

Never mind.

GAsTEr shook his head and tried again. It looked even more confused.

'Hat sir?' He gave a long sigh, a shrug of his shoulders.

'Hat sir.' He imitated the tiny creature. Hat sir would have to do for now. It beamed at him and nodded. From seemingly nowhere, the GREEN soul took out a large container. He did not recognize it.

'Are you hungry? I have food.' It signed. Food. Something briefly flashed through his mind, an abstract image. Food? () It seemed familiar. He nodded. The creature smiled and sat down, pulling GAsTEr's, aka Hat sir's, robe (Was it a robe? He couldn't quite remember.) until he joined it on the floor. It crossed its legs in a sitting position. He imitated it. It reached into the container, withdrawing something... stringy. Stringy and red, with little brown chunks.

'Do you like spaghetti?'

'WHAT IS...' He thought for a moment. 'IS...' He could not remember what sign the child had used. It giggled.

'Spaghetti?' It signed again. He nodded. Yes. That. It chuckled. 'It's tasty noodles in sauce.'

Well, GAsTEr didn't know what either of those were. Oh, well. He pretended he did.

The GREEN child pushed half of the 'spaghetti' onto a round, white surface and passed it to him with a matching little... spiked thing. He concentrated very hard. If he tried hard, he could hold things. He took it into his hands and maintained a shaky grip.

The little creature took its own portion and twirled its spiky white item in the 'spaghetti'. He imitated it. It raised the twirled spaghetti-wielding item to its face. He imitated it. It placed it in its mouth. He imitated it.

And suddenly

he felt very lonely.

'Are you alright? Did I ruin this batch?' The tiny thing rapidly signed, looking worried. 'Why are you crying?'

Crying. He was crying. He chewed his 'spaghetti' slowly, swallowed slowly, raised his hands to his eyes and slowly wiped the black goo that poured forth. He was so sad.

It reached out to him, touched his shoulder, then made another sign.

'What's wrong?'

Wrong.

(WRONG)

And suddenly, he launched himself into that tiny thing's arms and sobbed. It stiffened, seemed a bit afraid, but nonetheless took him and gently patted his back.

He stayed like that for a long time. How many seconds? How many minutes? How many mississippis? He could not remember. He had to keep it together, he had to remember...

The GREEN creature pushed him off its lap and patted his shoulder, wiped his tears. It repeated its question. He choked on his tears.

'What's wrong?'

'T-R-A-P-P-E-D - HERE - FORGET - WANT TO - REMEMBER - CAN'T - REMEMBER - SO - SCARED - K-E-E-P - FORGETTING - MIND GOING - AWAY' He signed out rapidly, shaking, still weeping. The tiny creature wiped his face again and looked at him.

'You're losing your mind?' It asked. Shakily, he nodded. It wiped its tears and gave him another gentle, slightly confused smile. He must seem so strange to it.

'Wouldn't it be kinder to let yourself give up?'

KINDER. EASIER. I HAVE SO LITTLE TIME LEFT.

❤


	3. PURPLE and BLUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gaster meets tiny scientist child and the gaster crying count goes up to four, what a fucking weenie
> 
> i got a beta!! one of my buddies decided to step in and theyre super cool and i love them. thank you melt <3

He'd calmed down since the most recent attack.

Cradling his neck, trying to stop feeling so helpless, GAstEr wheezed into the void. The fight felt as though it had happened a long time ago, yet he could still pick individual specks of dust from his collar and roll them in his fingers. How dark. How upsetting. Blue, Orange... two... three? Three, yes, the remnants of a memory of a tiny cyan creature called to him as well... three souls had visited him. All three had attacked him. 

It was so very odd.

Nothing was familiar. He felt, he knew, that he was forgetting, that his fall had done this to him- but how had he fallen? He was so confused. He was so afraid. Everything was so heavily abnormal- those... odd colorful souls, they should not have been in the Underground. Why were they in the Underground? He knew they were different, that they were not monsters, but try as he might, he could not remember what they were. But he should _know_.

Why didn't he _know_?

He began to weep again. Not uncommon, really. He was becoming more and more disoriented by the day, and all he had left of those he once knew, knew before he fell, were fuzzy memories that slowly fragmented away. Who wouldn't be upset?

The floor was covered in puddles of black goo. Tears.

He didn't even notice that something had opened the door and entered until he saw the tiny footprints on the ground. 

He whirled around, holding his hands in front of him. He could try and defend himself, he could... he could avoid the terror, the _attack_...

GA stEr blinked.

There was a tiny creature, a PURPLE soul creature, on the floor (IT IS DANGEROUS), scribbling away in a tiny notebook and wearing tiny glasses (very dirty, he noticed; this child needed a handkerchief to clean them). The thin sound of pencil on paper filled the room. It kept looking up at him, making a considering noise, and going back to its work. He felt scrutinized and just a tiny bit nostalgic. A tiny scientist? Just like him... except he was not tiny, and no longer sure if he had even been a scientist (sometimes, he wondered if he'd lived in this void forever, that these memories were simply fancies of the imagination). He lowered his hands and watched it quizzically.

It looked back up at him and nearly imperceptibly squinted (GAstEr had to suppress the urge to snatch those glasses and just _clean them off_ ), thinking for a few seconds. It finally put its book down and raised its hands after a moment.

'What are you called?' it signed. Ah, sign language. Yes, he... he had used that to speak, hadn't he? It had been so long since he'd communicated with anything. But he could remember perhaps half of his signs. Simpler ones. Except...

He tried to sign his name.

He couldn't do it.

He kept moving his fingers, willing them to form those familiar letters- GAstEr, GAstEr, his name was GAstEr (ISN'T IT?)- but he couldn't get them out. The creature hummed and tapped its pencil against its lips, before putting it back to the paper. This time, it wrote its message and held it up.

'Are you Dr. Gaster?'

Ah, what hope filled his chest! He nodded. Gaster. Yes. He was GAster... GAstEr... yes. He was GAstEr (GAstEr? Gaster Gaster Gaster GAstEr). That was his name. And "doctor"! Doctor GAstEr. He was right! A scientist. He was a scientist. He beamed at the tiny creature. It giggled.

'Hello. I was hoping to meet you. It took a lot of effort on my part.'

He nodded sadly. Yes, it was rare someone came to visit him (and even then, he winced, they would seek him only to attack him). 

'What kind of monster are you?'

Monster. What kind of monster was he? He felt tearful again. Was he this quick to weep before? The void was taking its toll on him.

'I AM A DEAD MONSTER.' he signed. The child nodded and transcribed his words. 

'A dead monster. I see.' it held up, then rapidly scrawled another sentence.

'What happened to you?' 

A lone tear escaped him. Ah, how sad this all was.

'I DO NOT R-E...' He signed, frowning. 'R-E...' He could not remember the signs. 'I HAVE NEARLY FORGOTTEN.' 

The child frowned with him and motioned him to lean down. When he did so, it wiped the tear from his face (and pressed it into the paper- collecting samples?) and curled its little hands into fists (he tensed at this), making a gesture.

GAstEr shook his head. He did not recognize it. The creature sighed and wrote something down.

'That was the sign for "Remember".'

Ah.

'Persevere, Dr. Gaster. Do not let this void destroy you.'

How did it know this was a void? Such an intelligent child.

'The world needs your genius. Do you want me to help you?'

I HAVE TO KEEP MYSELF TOGETHER. IF I DO NOT, I WILL VANISH FOREVER.

❤

 

* * *

 

H    i s                    f     a c      e

     w as               st i ll

c   r    a   c   k   e    d

from where the creature hit him (what was it called what was it called what was it called) and pieces were

e v    e    r    y    w   h    e r e

it.hurt.so.much.was.his.skull.always.so.fragile?

w  h y  did these odd, colorful souls keep coming to him? Why did they hate.him.so.(much).why.why.why

His head felt like it was falling apart.

 

 

The door opened. Something screamed. It was blue.blue.blue.blue.A.CREATURE (A CREATURE)

he wailed. please its too soon not now im still putting my face together theres a big hole in my head where am i where am i GastEr (GASTER)? no no no Gaster GastEr

 

it wailed with him.

tears soaked its tutu

it kept signing

something simple

 

'I want to go home.'

 

so did he.

 

The creature must have been afraid of monsters.

GastEr held his face.

 

It approached, it wept into him, and he wept as well, his tears blending with the thick goo spilling from his cracked skull.

So scared.

So, so scared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

it wrapped its hands around his throat

and.only.then.did.he.notice

the

d      u       _s      t_

on its hands

 

 

 

he vanished and when he reappeared he was in a pretty place with a waterfall but he couldnt appreciate it because it was too blue, blue, blue

WHY DO THEY KEEP HURTING ME?

❤


	4. ORANGE and CYAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!! i'm sorry i didn't update yesterday (the teachers really wanted to cram in lots of work before the break started), but now it's thanksgiving break and i can stay up as long as i want writing about sad skeleton men.  
> which is why...  
> i'm posting TWO CHAPTERS TONIGHT!!!!  
> so be excited for that  
> also, thank you guys so much for the kudos and bookmarks and the incredibly sweet comments. this is actually my first fanfiction ever, so... it's really nice to have people tell me if i'm doing well, and you guys seriously go above and beyond and say the sweetest things and it seriously makes my day. thank you guys so much and i hope your days are filled with cool shit. like thanksgiving break. happy thanksgiving break.

Trauma made him forget more. He realized this as he nursed the wide cut across his torso (even if he'd known how powerful a single human could be, it was shocking just how much force was in that child's swing) and could not remember his address, could not remember the codes for his safes. How terrible... he was never a very emotional individual, but he was really starting to worry. He'd been in this void for a long time now, and it was starting to take its affect on him. Something was growing within- a blind panic, a primal terror that distracted him more and more by the moment. He'd seen it in others before (never himself)- in the eyes of monster children separated from their parents, in the face of his attacker, in the way the King's lip quivered when the children had left his room on that terrible day, the day when he'd been fed those dreadful flowers and became very sick.

His Majesty was never the type to cry openly- the pressure of royalty was one that forced a sort of mask over emotion, and even in private company, he would very rarely cry. Some cried when they felt that primal terror, the fear of death, but the King simply quivered. If His Majesty were to cry, what would happen to the hopes of his people? Royalty was an unhappy burden to carry.

He'd been more open when he was happy, though. He remembered the birth of the prince, seeing the queen deliver and the king cautiously take the tiny creature in his comforting arms, kissing its forehead with broadly grinning lips and a tear in his eye, and whispering a hello to the new life.

"Hello, _____. "

...

"____"

The memory began to distort. GastEr held his head. The child. What was the name of the child? It was such a silly name, it was always so easy to remember...

He could not remember the child's name.

He could not. remember.

GastEr shook with this revelation. Countless times this had happened, but it never failed to upset him. He would think back, think of life before the void, life before he'd fallen into... well, he assumed this was the Core... and he would realize he'd lost another memory. His mind was failing him and it made him feel s o s c a rr ed t hh at-

He had to keep it together. _Had to_. If he fell apart, what would happen to the Underground?

(THEY HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU) Yes, they-

.

Oh, _hush_. (that voice and the humming, the constant humming around him, he really was starting to accept them as his own thoughts _but they werent_ )

He was...-

Something loudly hit the door, and he was violently pulled from his ruminations. Was something... ?

Another bang. Yes, something was definitely trying to get in. And it was violent.

He did not cower, but he did back away.

The door slammed open. Something _angry_ looked back at him. A human child, but... it was different.

It was not afraid. There was no fear in its expression, not like the one who'd come before. It just looked an excited kind of angry, ready to... well, the expression on its face was telling enough of its intentions. It knew its fate, what the king wished to do to it, but if it was going down, it would take the Underground with it. The hatred of monsters, perhaps of every living being, was clear on its face.

It began mouthing something to itself, something he did not understand, and bounced on its toes, readying its fists. ORANGE. Its soul was ORANGE.

He tried not to quake, but it was very difficult not to once he'd noticed the sheer amount of dust coating the creature's fists. It grinned at his expression.

It was not afraid, but he was.

The next word it moved its lips through, he understood.

'Coward.'

 

It

    _Launched_

                     At

                                Him

with that same evil expression and he couldn't get away in time

 

_it.swung.its.fists_

 

and he was in so very much pain all of a sudden and his skull exploded out the back of his head _how was this child so strong_ a cloud of dust filled the room but he was still alive this child had turned his skull to dust and pieces were everywhere and his head was covered in black goop, black slime, he didn't even remember trying to teleport away but he did

and it was a snowy town he re-awoke in and held his face and couldn't move for minutes?? hours?? what is time what is time (WHAT IS TIME) what is time

when he looked back up, goop still streaming from his eyes, he saw something

familiar

a skeleton?? skeleton skeleton.s _keleton.skeleton_

look at him

for the briefest of moments

and blink and turn away and

god

he couldnt

remember its name

either

.

 

he wailed

 

M MM MY H E HHHHE AAAAD HHH U RR TS SSSO BBBAAAADLYYYY

 

❤

* * *

 

Gaster spent most of his time after... after what happened, teleporting to different areas and reminding himself of different things. He would teleport to the shop at the Waterfall and point. That was Gerson. He'd sign the name (the sign for 'turtle' continuing into the sign for 'laugh'). 

'Gerson'.

He'd teleport to the palace and point. That was King Asgore. He'd sign the name (a smooth transition from 'king' to 'soft')

'Asgore'.

He'd teleport to Snowdin and point at the largest house in the area. That was where Sans and Papyrus lived. He'd sign their names (Sans was just the sign for 'skeleton' followed by 'ketchup', and Papyrus was literally just a flex and a wink)

'Sans'. 'Papyrus'.

If he did these simple reminders regularly, he could keep his mind together longer. He could do this. He could keep _himself_ together.

He made his rounds as usual that day (he could check the clocks around Underground as he worked- it was usually late afternoon when he felt finished and ready to rest) when something

very very interesting

happened.

Gaster arrived in his room only to discover a small human child sitting on the ground. (SCARY) _Oh hush._

He was instantly fascinated. How had a child made it in there? It should not have been possible. He wanted to record this observation, but alas, he had no means... however, the sight of a human! How very intriguing. Perhaps... or, no... no, if things went as he'd come to believe, well... hm.

The child (its soul, he noticed, was a sort of CYAN color) held a small knife to its chest (a toy, he realized), and had a ribbon in its hair. It seemed quite young, small and shaking with fresh tear tracks down the sides of its face. It was distressed. Well, perhaps he could still study it.

He knocked on the wall (if he focused, he could touch things). It jumped. It looked at him.

'You are a human?' he signed. May as well cut to the chase. Who knows when it would leave, perhaps vanish from the room or simply push past him. The void was quite unstable. He was unsure of its effect on humans.

'You're a monster.' it signed back. Well, he would take that as a yes. It shook. 'You're scary.'

'Yes. Are you human?' he persisted. The human backed away, scooting on its backside. Perhaps he should have tried to be reassuring?

'Don't eat me!'

'I will not eat you. Are you hu-'

'No, I don't trust you! You're scary!'

'That is _very_ ru-'

'You're going to eat me!!' It was sobbing now, shakily standing. He sighed.

'I will not eat you. Shall I offer comfort?' He opened his arms and stood in front of the child, ready to perhaps hold it. Research would have to wait. The human was too emotionally unwell to study.

It stepped towards him.

It shook.

It walked into his embrace. He began to close his arms.

And then.

It

      _Stabbed_

                         Him.

 

 

 

He must have teleported away involuntarily, because when he came back to himself, he was in the Ruins. He felt... odd. He hurt terribly, holding his fresh wound, and there was an odd... _emptiness_ in his head.

He pointed to the nearest object.

It was...

Was...

 

 

AH. I SEE. 

...

CHARA WAS CORRECT, THEN.

 

❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c


	5. RED (It's me.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS BEEN A LOOOONG NIGHT OF FORMATTING AND GETTING THE WINGDINGS TO WORK FINALLY SO NOW HERE WE ARE!!!   
> here's the second chapter for today!! it has not been read by my beta. they are asleep like all the good people are  
> which leaves me here with you filthy sinners (jk, jk)  
> anyway!! after this is just the epilogue  
> and then.......... the sequel [studio audience gasp!!!]  
> anyway yeah, enjoy!!

I've been waiting for you.

He'd been roaming for a while, holding himself and attempting to remain composed. This was all a rather large sho-

Get to the point.

Gaster understood his situation well enough. He had presumably fallen into the Core. He'd-

I said _get to the point_.

There was an odd door in Waterfall. Gaster had never been one to leave his lab often, but the Underground was a small place, and all sights were relatively familiar.

Except this door.

He reached to it curiously and found it simple to open. How odd. Nothing else would respond to his touch.

And here I am.

The king's adopted child sat inside.

'Hello, Gaster.' They signed. They were smiling. They stood alone in the middle of the room beyond the door; a white cubic area with no discernible features. It felt odd. 

'Greetings, child. What is this place?' he replied, hands only slightly shaking as he moved through the signs. Chara had the most unnerving manner to them sometimes.

Chara giggled to themself.

' **Your cage.** '

He stiffened. They spread their arms out.

'See, I could kill you very easily, but this is so much better!'

Chara smirked.

'Remember how the Core converts geothermal energy to magic?'

'What are you doing?' He signed desperate. He did not want to think of the implications of his fall.

'Well... **what do you think happens to things that fall in?** '

'Why are you doing this?'

'You're not made of geothermal energy, buuut... you're a good engineer, I'm sure your machine can manage crunching just one skeleton into pure magical energy.'

'Why are you destroying me?'

'You're gonna be torn apart by your own creation, and then whatever's left is gonna get consumed as magic. Isn't that sad?' Chara chuckled.

'Why?'

Chara's face fell. They glowered at him.

He shrank back. He was never an emotional person, but that expression... he was terrified.

'Because this world isn't real.'

Ah.

'You theorized it, right? **I've lived it.** You've seen the timelines, you know how they're stopping and starting. How there's an anomaly.'

They met his eyes, offered a grimace.

'I'm the anomaly.'

 Determination.

'I've seen all of this happen before. I've been forced to restart my life over and over. Do you know how many times Asriel's told me the same joke? How many times Toriel's made the same pie? How many times Asgore's patted my hair the same way? I can't even count.'

He put his hand over his mouth.

'... Have you discovered the Player?'

Chara looked somewhere in the distance and seemed to lock eyes with something. He turned and tried to follow their gaze, but there was nothing there.

'They're the one doing all this.'

'They're the one who's forcing me to relive my whole childhood.'

'Again.'

'And again.'

'And again.'

Oh, god.

'Killing everyone, making sure no one's left... making sure they can't watch me talk to everyone yet again...'

'That's my only way to rebel, maybe even escape.'

Oh, god.

'I don't care if the resets stop here. I don't care if I have to live the rest of my life with everyone dead. I don't even care if I have to die for this.'

'I just want to take my revenge.'

'I just want to break the monotony.'

Chara smiled weakly.

'... Well, anyway.'

'I know you can't tell anyone what I'm doing.'

'After all, no one can see you.'

Chara's smile was becoming progressively more wicked. Gaster backed away further, held himself.

'Your machine's already started to tear you apart. You're being ripped into itty-bitty pieces, and nothing will be spared.'

'Not even your consciousness.'

'You know what I'm saying, right?'

Chara broke into a wide smirk.

**'You're going to forget everything.'**

 

The cruel light of their soul flooded his vision as he fell to his knees, and god, it was RED, RED, RED.

 

 

This is your fault.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO THE END, MY FRIENDS  
> i actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter!! i headcanon gaster as being kind of quiet and shy in a way that a lot of people take as being intimidating or cold? but really he's a big weenie who's bad at expressing emotion  
> this was really fun to write, and i'm so glad you guys have been enjoying it!! i'll be writing a sequel after this because GUESS WHO WANTS TO SEE GASTER GET SAVED
> 
> also fyi: maybe you've figured it out by now, but the hearts at the end of the sections are souls! gaster's is the white one, since monster souls are white and stuff. so at the end of the chapter he gets a friend so theres two souls at the end because!!! they're friends now!!! yay!! (ok honestly i didnt want people to misconstrue that because that was Not a shipping thing, gaster is much much older than all of the souls (not to mention the souls are children) so shh, only friendship now)

W.D. Gaster knelt down and checked the instruments again. He wiped his forehead with his handkerchief. It was so hot here, likely because of the proximity to Hotland. Perhaps he should have been used to it- he  _lived_ in Hotland, that's where the Royal Lab was- but this was very different. Usually he spent his time in said lab, not out in the heat for... ah, seven hours now. His team had cleared the topsoil from the area and drilled a deep hole, which was being tested. Notably, they were looking for mineral percentages in the soil and average temperature.

They were looking for the ideal place to build the Core.

Honestly, he would rather have used Hotland as the location, but it was too residential, and Asgore was not willing to force people to move, and besides, why evict people when there was a perfectly good tract of uninhabited land right there? 

He sighed. Asgore was right, but why did all the ideal testing areas have to already be owned? If they had used Hotland, they would not need to complete all this arduous land-clearing. Oh, well. He recorded the results and ran another test.

At least he had his handkerchief. It was lovely, with a cute bones embroidered on the fabric and delicate lace on the borders. Papyrus had given it to him for Christmas. He really was very talented at sewing, and so caring to put so much effort into the gift. 

"Doctor!"

He sat upright and looked behind him. One of the more energetic members of his field team was bounding up to him, holding two water bottles. Oh, sweet salvation.

'Hello, Immola. Is one of those for me?' he signed. She nodded and threw one over.

"Yep!"

'Wonderful, thank you.'

A silence followed, Gaster fiddling with his instruments and Immola sitting awkwardly. 

"It's hot here, huh?"

'Yes.'

"... Hey, how do skeletons sweat?"

'Ask Sans.' 

The silence continued, the good doctor waiting for the test to finish and occasionally dabbing his forehead. Immola cleared her throat.

'Should you be working?'

"Haha, no, no, I'm no slacker! It's lunch break." Immola responded placatingly. Gaster responded with a hum and took another sip. 

Silence. Honestly, Gaster found it rather companionable. 

"Hey, um... what are you afraid of?"

'Why do you ask?'

"Because you're doing the thing again!"

'Thing?'

"You're being all quiet!"

'I was enjoying your company.'

"Yeah, but you're a really interesting person, and I want to talk to you! So I'm pulling out the conversation prompts."

'Thank you, but please, anything but that.'

"It's too late, doctor. We're going down the list. We're doing it. I already asked what your favorite shape is-"

'Abstract non-polygons.'

"Aaand where you want to retire-"

'The surface.'

"Stop interrupting!"

'Just reminding you.' He was smiling. A beep went off, signaling the test was finish. He took up his clipboard and recorded the data.

"So. What are you afraid of?" Immola was certainly an insistent person.

He thought for a moment, then put down his pen and began signing.

'I suppose... forgetting.'

* * *

 

 

The door (DOOR DOOR DOOR) opened once again. GASTER raised his eyes.

A tiny creature, RED-souled, peeked out from the door's edge and signed something.

'Hello.'

(I'M SCARED)

He nearly transported again, nearly panicked, but

the RED soul was carrying

       a container of something stringy

               and a tiny diary

                             and somehow

                                     they were very  soothing

                                                     in a

                                                                f  a m i      lli  A R

                                                                                                  way.

 

HELLO.

♡❤


End file.
